Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
