I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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