omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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