You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
