are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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