I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
