**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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