are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
