I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
