I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
