i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
