im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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