i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just pee around me
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
