I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
