Will you blow on my dice?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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