I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
