Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
