I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
