You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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