He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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