Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
