Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
