she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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