i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
