I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
