You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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