i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
