I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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