Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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