Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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