marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
