Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
