no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
