Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
