yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
