And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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