Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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