I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
