I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it's great music for shaving your balls
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
