Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
