Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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