i jhust puked up my retainher.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
