I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
