I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
