I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
