So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
