if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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