when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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