She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
