some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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