He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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