my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
