Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
