but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
two words: eviction party
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
